Independent Woman

This is an article written by my favourite author in the world…..EVE MONTELIBANO….I’ll forever be your greatest fan!!!


(From the best seller series LOTHARIO…Desiring Drew)

Hello, Independent Woman. Have you ever been to a point where the very thought of dating makes you cringe? I’m sure you have. Just thinking of meeting another potential Mr. Right in the form of a blind date gives you the eww feeling. You’re tired of your Mom and her friends and your BFF trying to pair you off to strangers. The whole process of getting-to-know makes you nauseous. You’d rather be in a spa being pampered from head to toe than getting dressed up for a guy you don’t even know from Adam and who will likely turn out to be the worst date of your life. As always!

But that’s getting way ahead of it.

Let me have the fun of describing what we have all experienced in this state of insanity called “Looking for THE ONE”. It’s temporary, mind you. It’s curable. But a lot of us love to be in this state. It’s fun and exciting, until your ego starts getting a beating, and it’s downhill from then on.

Looking for Mr. Right nowadays is likely playing Russian Roulette. It’s a lethal game of chance where you spin the odds of finding love and your heart on line, hoping that when you spin the cylinder of fate and pull the trigger, you don’t get the fatal bullet. It’s an expedition of gigantic proportions that requires a lot of time, effort and resources on your part and it’s bound to bring you disappointment, disillusionment and will more likely turn you from a hopeless romantic to a hard-core cynic.

Okay, so you are a romantic and you want to fall in love with this epitome of manhood. You wait and wait for him to come to your way but he never does. You realize one day while in the middle of reading a romance book or watching a Sandra Bullock rom-com that you cannot find him in the pages of a Johanna Lindsey fiction while snuggled in your pink Victorian bed or in the faces and bodies of Keanu Reeves, Hugh Grant or Ryan Reynolds. You have to look for him. You have to go out there, scour the universe to find him.

The thing is, you don’t know where to look because Mr. Right could be anywhere—in a restaurant pigging out on a steak, in a bank plotting to rob it, in a night club hoping to get discovered by a talent scout, in an airport fixing a busted engine, scaling the Everest trying to beat a world record, in an online dating site desperately looking for you too but getting sidetracked by eye-candies, or he could be taking care of a zoo in Namibia with Brangelina. The places where he could be and the possible ways to meet him are endless. And there are so many obstacles you can encounter too while you look for your beloved Knight in Shining Armour.

You would encounter other men along the way and you may mistake them for your prince and then you discover that they are not what you were looking for, provided you know exactly what you are looking for in the first place. You have this imaginary ideal man— and you often create him out of several personalities you have read, met or seen, say Chace Crawford’s face, Paul Walker’s body, Marc Zuckerberg’s business savvy (self-made billionaire in his twenties, how’s that for business savvy?), Bill Gates’ philantrophic heart, the Dalai Lama’s wisdom, Larry King’s sharp witt, your father’s patience and kindness and your classmate Lan’s (who’s had a crush on you since kinder) sweetness and thoughtfulness.

The man of your dreams is like Frankenstein of the finest human parts and qualities and you love idealizing him within the magical castle of your fairytale dreams than in the glaring light of reality. And more often than not, you think that you have found him already only to be disappointed over and over, because every man you meet feels right in the beginning and ends up totally wrong in the end. But you never lose hope. You know it deep in your heart and soul, you will find him. You’ll just have to keep the faith and be more patient and one day soon, he will come revving in his black Lamborghini, ready to take you on a wild ride to ever after. And your search for the myth continues.

Indeed, finding your soulmate is like playing Russian Roulette. Sooner or later you get the bullet.

And no, that wasn’t a metaphor. J

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37 Responses to Independent Woman

  1. Mei says:

    It is really not easy to find for the right partner. Hindi mo alam nakakasalubong mo na pala or whatever. That’s why sometimes people end up with the wrong ones. In these kind of situations we have to seek guidance from God.

  2. Sumi says:

    I used to obsess in finding Mr. Right back then. But now that I have a very loving bf, I don’t care anymore if I find a more good-looking, richer, smarter, or more [insert-any-good-trait-here] guy. I’m already contented and fell out of love from the idea of Mr. Right. I have to say though that playing the Russian Roulette back then was quite thrilling.. 🙂

  3. VIoly says:

    OMG! so timely naman.. hehe, i’m 35 a career woman, started dating since grade 6 (hope my mom will never see this post!), i had 5 boyfriends but until now still single and haven’t found the “right one” hmmm my friends said i’m choosy but I’m definitely not! Nah hindi palang dumadating si prince charming… but i know soon he will sweep me off my feet.. lol.. wish ko lang!! ;))

  4. before I’m also obsessed with the Mr. Right thing.. but now I’m just go with the flow and enjoy life. More adventures mas exciting 🙂

  5. Nice read. But I don’t play russian roulette. Does that mean I won’t get the bullet soon? Hmm..

  6. Gemma says:

    But you never lose hope. You know it deep in your heart and soul, you will find him. – Love this! :))

  7. One must never find the right man but wait for serendipity to come and then chances will be a bygone thought. Wag naman hanapin kasi kusa naman darating yan. Believed me because I firmly trusted it that way.

  8. Clint Andrew says:

    T___T Sometimes waiting and finding the right one makes time so slow.

  9. Paige says:

    Honestly, I do not know Eve Montelibano. Never heard about him/her pero palagay ko I should search about him/her. Interesting para sa akin 🙂

  10. tumandok says:

    This is a very good analogy of finding a soulmate. It takes more chances to bump with your soulmate and when it happens you get the “bullet.” The writeup is very interesting and challenging.

  11. EDMARATION says:

    I believe that God is writing our love story and in a surprise, there he/she comes. :))

  12. Kathy Ngo says:

    nakarelate ako sobra dito. I’m at at that point where I cringe at the thought of going out but sometimes I give it a shot … yun nga lang minsan, I get shot back and end up bleeding … sigh.

  13. She writes very well about a topic that most of us can relate about. Too bad I haven’t seen any of her books in Booksale though.

  14. Julie Ann says:

    Haha! I enjoyed this post very much. Well, as they say, don’t go looking for love. Love will come in God’s perfect time. And what’s with this “Mr. Right” anyway? There’s no such thing as Mr. Right. Love is about loving a wrong guy and making him RIGHT for you. Love changes everything. If it’s true love then he’ll do the “right thing” to make himself “right” for you. Love is a risk anyway. You’ll never know unless you’ll try. 🙂

  15. Great post! 🙂 as for me, i’m happy with Mr. Right now.. and forever! 🙂 sounds cheesy but true! 🙂

  16. just in time.. in time!!
    hahaha! I think I’ve read a few books of the Lothario series
    It can get steamy sometimes but there is a reason why these books become best sellers

  17. Yuu Ki says:

    i am a sucker for romantic novels, movies kaya i also have this mindset that love will find you and when it does, it will be enough…

  18. Rachelle says:

    Bookmarked this page because I can relate I used to search for Mr Right, but I only met all the wrong guys for me. Russian Roulette indeed! Thanks for sharing!

  19. Bien Nonoy says:

    I actually prefer mystery novels than romantic novels. Still, any good reading is good for the mind.

  20. Nancy says:

    I agree with Yuuki though I’m not a romantic novels sucker. 😀
    Cliche but I do believe what’s meant for you is yours – regardless.

  21. reminds me of my Single years .I can relate to the story .In search for my ‘ THE ONE” . I keep dating a lot of guys ,blind date ,network site ,friends referral , filipinos and mostly foreigner. I was never scared of meeting somebody because of my goall , to marry and not to grow old .i am not the type who just sits back and wait for the man .i work for it and i got what I wanted .now i am happily married.

  22. This book is for me 😀
    Thanks for this!

  23. Jerome says:

    i haven’t read any romatic novels but i think as you say ,Eve Montilibano is a great writer,maybe I would some of her books.Finding for someone,in my opinion isn’t ideal. They will come to you in time. =)

  24. men would always be attracted to confident and composed women. it is true that sometimes you have to pay close attention to yourself first. if you get into a relationship focusing on the other person too much, you lose yourself. in my opinion, men want a partner in life. we all do. glad and thankful i found her.

  25. Finding Mr./Ms. Right is a difficult task, but God will show you the right guy/girl.

  26. Algene says:

    I really love you end your post. Thanks for this post 🙂 IO

  27. I thinkmI found the right person for me. Joke. Haha. Masok pagnaghintay ka lang ng right person. Sobrang mahiwaga ang pakiramdam. I wanna watch this movie. Right movie for a date 🙂

  28. CHA says:

    Destiny is seen as the final outcome, independent of the events that precedes it, which are inevitable and unchangeable themselves, but the sequence can be arranged and rearranged in order to arrive to the final outcome.

    I believe that we ourselves can choose our own destiny by selecting different paths throughout our lives. Different course of action of individuals nonetheless lead to a predetermined destiny.

    Mr. Right will come at the proper time and hour that God has set.

    Go Xi Fa Cai

  29. rudolphian says:

    sabi nga nila Mr/Ms Right will just come knocking on the door when we least expect them to come 🙂

  30. chrisair says:

    me too I never heard of them, I am gonna find it out after your post

  31. kiko says:

    i’ve heard of Eve and she really makes her way to love stories with a touch of very well formed imagination

  32. reymund says:

    thank for sharing this…..

  33. EdZee says:

    They say it’s hard to find the right man. He is either married already or not looking for a perfect woman. 🙂

  34. ROMELO says:

    Meron bang ganun? Di ba ang naghahanap ng ganun ay tumatandang dalaga o binata? O_o

  35. If you really needed to find the right person for you to be with for the rest of your life, the secret is, pray for it.

  36. tumandok says:

    My second comment: To find Mr. Right is to be a right woman. Nurture the good attributes of a right woman for Mr. Right.

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