My Heart broke Again

This morning, i started a shift with a mortality. A19 year old female had a cardio-pulmonary arrest. Well, it was sort of anticipated on our part cause she had been gasping for, if I’m not mistaken, 8 hours already.

For us nurses, we were prepared for it but for the mother, it’s another story…When the doctor told her that her daughter was already gone, she wasn’t ready to accept it…who would….No good and responsible mom could accept that easily..Her reaction was unique though, when it was confirmed to her that her daughter couldn’t be revived anymore, she left without even crying or going near her daughter.

In my experience, when  a patient dies, relatives usually grieve right away, we would give them time to do so, we give them privacy to cry….but this mother was different, she left…it was only when i saw her face that i realized that she was in a state of denial…She was not ready to grieve yet..

Seeing her expression on her face, my heart broke again for the nth time…I cried for both of them in silence…I really hate feeling that way..but what can I do….i couldn’t help it. I’m just so lucky that my God has a lot of glue, to put my heart back together over and over again.

May God bless all those who are grieving right now.

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