Yesterday, I had a patient; he was diagnosed to have blood disorder, probably due to clotting factor abnormality. He was continuously nose bleeding, and started to become restless and disoriented. He was supposed to have aggressive blood transfusion but the relatives cannot afford to secure blood. From time to time, I went to him and wiped the blood that’s dripping from his nose. We had ice chips applied to his nose just to help stop the bleeding. Since the patient’s family cannot afford to buy the ordered medication and blood, all of us were praying for a miracle to happen.
I have never been afraid to see human blood, it’s something I’m quite used to cause I was kind of exposed to it early, since my dad’s a physician. I would usually visit him in the hospital where I got to see people being brought to the emergency room. This morning the same patient had a melena (blood coming out from the anus due to upper gastrointestinal bleed), it was a massive one. The moment I inhaled the blood, I realized that there’s an exception to what I can handle… I had experienced having patients with melena before but this case is something I haven’t seen. I wanted to clean the patient but I had to call a doctor first… Deep inside I felt like running away from the situation, ‘cause I did not want to see the patient bleeding to death. The doctor came and emergency meds were given.
As a nurse I could not afford to let others know how I truly feel about the situation, that my stomach can’t almost take the smell of the blood that I wanted to just disappear from the situation. Somehow I managed to finish my shift and endorsed the patient to the incoming nurse.
When I came to work this morning, I was told that the patient had expired at dawn… I guess it was his time to go. May God rest his soul.